We'd like to share this entry with all of you because we believe this would inspire muslimahs making the transition to wearing hijab inshallah. Those who are getting resistance at home or at work or school regarding the hijab might find this useful
A message from Siham ******************************************************* As Salaamu 3laikum wa Rahmatullah wa Baraktuhu sisters. I see some of you are having difficult time with your parents/relatives when it comes to Islam and observing what you want to observe which is a form of being more modest not only in dress, but also in your behavior. Often times when it comes to non-Muslim parents/relatives, the concept of modesty is a very difficult one to understand because in a sense, you are going beyond what is 'culturally' been accepted by them as being 'modest enough.' All this covering hair, using gloves, covering faces with niqab, etc. is completely foreign to them. Even in Dubai, there is slander against Muslimahs in full cover head to toe and often they are referred to as Black Moving Objects or (BMO). You are not alone with this frustration, but the key is to approach this in a way, which creates more understanding rather than friction. Soon they will come to understand their daughter has not morphed into some alien being. Key is to remember God is watching all of us all the time including your parents' actions. God doesn't discriminate when it comes to Jews, Christians, Catholics, Mormons, or Muslims, etc. So regardless of your personal observances, God is watching everyone and all their deeds. As far as hijab with your mother, one approach may be to point out the benefits in an age where sun damage leading to skin cancer is very high. Another fact, is to point out the number of women who are target for rape due to their scant clothing. Men are visual creatures, if there is no clothing on a woman's body, they are going to look, they can't help it. Nothing to see, means, nothing to look at, therefore men are forced to take a different approach i.e. a more respectful one. Myself, I'm American, served in the U.S. military, and also had issues with hijab. The U.S. military has a process in place, but due to 'dress and appearance regulations' there is an extreme amount of problems trying to wear hijab in military uniform. Although they say they are diverse, and take a neutral stance to religion, the truth is that the U.S. military has rules, which are there for military purposes. Sometimes, religion is simply not compatible with these regulations due to the need to wear protective equipment like gas masks, or be around engines. Common sense must come into play to protect one's life from harm or even death. So one has to be adaptable to individual circumstances. Since it was such a headache, where I would have to take photos in every single uniform and submit it to a board to get approval to wear hijab in uniform and they made this to be such a way that would require me to repeatedly do this every single time I changed my base, I decided to pick and choose my battles carefully. I pushed to be able to go to the mosque for Friday Juma'ah prayers instead. There I went in uniform, wore my hijab during prayer, no one could say anything because I was there for religious services and took part in the community. Sometimes, we must choose a greater community impact over a personal impact. In this way, I represented them as having more flexibility which worked more towards the diversity recognition which is required if we're going to make more impact as a society. Islam is supposed to make your life easier, not more difficult. Nor is Islam rigid, or it would never have survived these thousands of years. Sometimes, we have to look beyond ourselves, in my case, it is very important to have the military, otherwise in times of crisis or natural disaster, the people who are needed to protect businesses or homes from looting, will have a more difficult time doing their job to protect us from harm. Even during the time I was overseas, I was able to help the Chaplains teach the other folks how Lebanese women dressed so differently could sit next to each other and have no animosity towards each other. One in full hijab/niqab, one just in hijab, and one in a jeans/t-shirt and no scarf. Sitting and just carrying on a conversation without noticing each other's clothing. The world was created diverse by Allah (God) and as such, we have many challenges. The real test is life, whether we are able to overcome these challenges together and whether we can survive regardless of our religion. Religion is there to guide us and make life easier, not more difficult, always remember this. Religion is wisdom which has stood the test of time for centuries. Have much Sabr with your family, eventually through your life example, they will see what good Islam has done. Not only family, but others. In my case, it is the entire community of both Muslims and non-Muslims. I continue to be flexible and adaptable while keeping to my Deen. Each opportunity through my actions helps people overcome the stereotypes and discrimination they developed within themselves. Even when I transitioned into civilian work, I debated with myself to wear hijab or not, I decided I would go ahead and wear my hijab despite getting advice to take it off for job interviews and then later transition back to it. It turned out my decision was the better one for several reasons. I presented myself as who I am rather than having to engage in a situation where people have to re-adjust to the idea of a headscarf. So now, I work, people are happy to have me around, I still do part-time work with the military, but I enjoy serving people and it is a good opportunity for me to help a lot of retired old folks who are in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. Periodically religion comes up, but people learn from me the correct information, and that makes a huge difference. Be patient, be strong, have faith in Allah for things are not always as they appear. Be thankful for life in itself because it is your most important opportunity from Allah.
Oh and one more thing, I was in Turkey on a Turkish military base where the government censorship of hijab was strongly enforced. Women could not wear the headscarf pinned under their chins. There was an actual 'class' which showed they could wear hijab Granny style with a big knot under the chin, but the neck had to be showing. So for some of you who are having extreme issues with your folks, one idea may be to wear the scarf differently. Turkish women are known to cross the tails behind their heads and allow the tails to drape over their shoulders. Other options, Turkish women have had to do in universities is to wear wigs, hats or even bandanas. 'Hijab' is a concept in Islam which extends wayyy beyond the scarf. It is a whole person concept. One can wear a scarf and still NOT be in 'hijab' in her heart. Dressing modestly is only one aspect. Some of the creative measures I had to take while living in Turkey on the Turkish base included wearing baseball caps, wearing high collared shirts like turtlenecks, wearing bandanas, wearing long skirts, long sleeved t-shirts, refusing to wear shorts/short sleeved shirts, and carrying my jilbab or abaya in a bag with my headscarf out the base. Luckily I made friends with very good Muslim brothers who had businesses near the base and they understood the issue very well. So they'd allow me to duck into one of their stores to change into abaya/jilbab and put on my hijab. See outside the Turkish government military base, I was considered to be in my own 'private life.' But on the base, it was 'Turkish Government Property' where the no-hijab rule was enforced much like Turkish parliament. So, this is an example of what I mean about being able to adapt. My Deen is there, I just had to morph hijab into something other than their idea of hijab. Because the truth was, they didn't understand what 'hijab' was at all.
Salaam wa 3laikum wa Rahmatullah wa Baraktuhu. ************************************************************
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