Sad to see you go Lulu: A message from HijabSuppor
Salamalikum all & Eid Mubarak!
Hope you all ate some great food and had a great Eid Ul Adha.
Thank you for also allowing us to keep in touch.
We have some unfortunate news about our HijabChat helper who has been with us for almost a year now. Maybe some of you have already chatted with her in our HijabChat module and she's very nice and has a great sense of humor and an interest in finally wearing hijab some day. The news is that she will no longer be available to help out at HijabChat and will not be visiting for a while. Inshallah if her circumstances change in future she wll be available again. We're sure inshallah, that she will never forget about us.
Lulu, along with many of you are also transitioning to wearing hijab some day inshallah. As many of you have probably already experienced, is resistance from the family for this new important venture in wearing hijab. For me, who come from a family of Christians, I just got up one day and made a sincere intention to wear hijab and never took it off in public from that day - whether it be a bad day or good day. It's a life changing decision that one should be in it for the long haul.
And for some who have it hard making the transition at home, we sympathize with their situation and respect their devotion and effort. It is really difficult when the ones closest to us, being our parents, express a deep dislike or resentment towards wearing hijab. I personally exprienced something close to this feeling when I spoke to a mother of 2, 46 years old, from Turkey who is Muslim but I never knew it and found out by chance. When I found out we talked a bit and asked her "well....why no hijab yet?". And she responded that her grandmothers and no one in her family wore it and that people who wear it are often forced to wear it. She also said that if you're forced to do something then "what kind of individual does that make you?". I told her that my husband did not force me to wear it and wore it by my own choice because I can see the benefits hijab brings to my life. She also said outright that "I respect you" but "I don't like it, this hijab". She says that her daughters are smart and strong individuals, and that she is there for them. So then I asked her in curious ofcourse polite way, what she would do if her daughters decided one day to wear hijab. She just started shaking her head without saying a word for a few seconds and said she wouldn't like it. For some the resistance from parents doesn't end here. Some parents would do what ever they can to intervene, possibly become violent, disconnect the internet or be grounded because of the deep dislike they have for one wearing hijab. It's very hard and in this sense one can become opressed if they let the otherside win. The Quran says, if our parents ask us to do something haram then don't listen to them. In this case it would apply since wearing hijab is fard after a particular age. Deep prayer to Allah s.w.t. can help soften the anguish and inshallah if he wills he will open a door - but one has to ask first and not leave things up in the air. So when the resistance to wearing hijab escalates the best thing to do would be to keep praying, every day to Allah s.w.t. for answers inshallah. In dealing with resistance at home, we would advise to not try to convince them why you feel your decision to wear hijab is good for you. Instead, we would advise that less is more and confidence is key. Inform that you've made your decision, and you're happy about it and that wearing hijab doesn't in any way affect your respect or love for your parents. When they bring the subject up for conversation or arguement rather, say you've made your decision and you're happy with it adn that you love them and do not wish to discuss it.
It's definatley ironic how the mother of 2, said "what kind of individual does that make you if you're forced wear it". I would certainly say that it works both ways that one is put at a cross roads because of resistance they get for hijab at home and are forced away from their decision to avoid upsetting ones parents.
I was thinking about where this dislike feeling might be coming from and I think it that she dislikes the reaction she may get for her not wearing hijab, rather than the hijab itself. I'm also making a guess that she feels that ones who wear hijab, feel that wear are "higher" or "better than her" and doesn't want to wear a scarf to be a part of the crowd. She wants to be an individual and be judged for who she is inside and not for what she wears on her hair.
Well , wouldn't it be nice if the world were so simple that we can all be judged for who we are inside. But the plain truth is that we are judged by strangers at face value only. And the majority of males in the public's first impression is that women are not capable, silly and possibly easy - and the younger one is even more that is true. And the hijab, elhamdulilah, erases this perception from most minds so that we can be treated as respectable women inshallah. And in the Quran says, cover our bosems and lower our gaze because it's best for us.
The hijab works as that good little angel on your shoulder and as a reminder of God and a worship to him.
We're losing Lulu due to resistance she is currently receiving at home regarding hijab and pray that God will open a door for her to make it easy inshallah.
If any of you have a public reply to make please paste your thoughts in our blog at: http://www.thecanadianmuslim.ca/hijab_blog_page4.html
If any of you are intersted in applying for part-time positon as HijabSupport helper, please send an email to inquiries[at]thecanadianmuslim.ca
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