assalam alaikum

As muslims, the Quran advises us that "if one does not want to believe, they will never believe, and nothing or no one can make that happen". The reason I am mentioning this point is because, participating in debates about christianity and Islam can be very stressful and can fuel anger on both sides. So as Muslimah's we should take the good advice to: 1. always speak with kind and respectable words and ways of speaking at all times, especially in times of debatable conversation. Let the people who you're speaking with know that you respect their decision to maintain to be christian, and that's their right. But at the same time, you have rights too because you are your own person and capable of thinking on your own and making your own individual decisions and that you deserve that freedom as well. 2. If they seem to deliberately try to get you angry, then just respond "you are entitled to your own opinion and thoughts, and I have mine". Even if you know that you are right, it helps to just "be silent" as well. If you find they are doing things haram around you, just remove yourself from that surrounding quietly, by leaving the home to go do some errands, or pray and/or read Quran in your room. Inshallah they will begin to respect the point that "you are your own person, and you are entitled to your own beliefs". In the Quran, it also advises us that for those who try to agress us, "speak words of kindness and respect, for it is better". Inshallah by doing this, the person speaking with you will begin to feel "ashamed" or just "give up" trying to fuel the conversation. In addition, the Quran also advises us to be kind to our parents, but if they advise us to do wrong, "obey them not", but always maintain kind tone and respect. So I think in this case, with your husband refusing for the chilren to attend the mosque, if you can take them to the mosque, and not let them see that your family has a problem with it, this is better. But to learn about Islam there are plenty of sources for children, such as chilrens books that tell stories about the prophets, that we will be carrying soon inshallah:)

So sister, I can appreciate how frustrated you are in this situation and believe me, we all go through it, but remember, the God says, "if they don't want to believe, nothing will make them". Even if they initiate the conversation or debate, just let them know that "you are your own person, and are entitled to your opinions and beliefs, and that you also respect that he/she is too entitled to his/her own beliefs". The exception is with our children because we are responsible for guiding them on the right path.

Prayer is good as it calms the heart and increases your iman inshallah. Ask Allah s.w.t. for the patience to deal with stressful situations. The God says, the best of those of you are who is patient (al sabr), subhanallah. Elhamdulilah you are muslim for the past 2 months, and to evolve as a muslim, this is a life long process. Always make a journey to learn more and more about Islam, and the best of sources is the Quran, elhamdulilah.

Check out the polls/links section where you can download a program, on where you can listen to Quran in english! wow! I have it myself and its really great! Get access to every surah in the Quran and for free too:)

Allah kheleeki (God keep u safe) and for your family too inshallah

Jazakallahu Khairan (Leaving you in Allah s.w.t. care)

Wa alaikum salam (and peace be with you)

your sister in Islam
-deneer

In regard to your problem of finding clothes that fit, have you considered wearing jilbabs with a nice pants? I think this would solve the problem with height inshallah. The portion of the jilbab would go to your knees or just below your knees and the pants would show at the bottom. This is a common style of wearing jilbab actually. Hope this helps eh'

Jazakallahu Khairan

-Wasalam
deneer

Please let us know how you're doing so we can offer support inshallah. Please take care

Wa alaikum salam

Last Edited Wajeehuddin Ahmed on 24-Jul-2005 7:00 PM