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Problems I
Muslimah4eternity
1 post
Feb 19, 2006
9:05 AM
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I have a problem with arranged marriages
what should I do...I want to choose and meet the person I will marry. I want to know who Im marrying before hand. I dont want my parents to choose for me... how can I get to know some one and not commit any sin all at the same time?
Im really struggling with this.
HELP!!!
SALAAM
Last Edited Muslimah4eternity on 19-Feb-2006 9:08 AM
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Nadia87
27 posts
Feb 20, 2006
7:26 PM
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Assalamu alaikum,
I pray that you everything works out for you inshallah.
Sis, usually by arranged marriages, the girl is not forced to choose someone proposed or suggested by the parent's. They simply bring forth guys who they think may be suitable but in the end it's entirely your decision. So don't think that your parent's are 'choosing' for you, unless they say you 'have' to marry so and so, which I am sure is not the case?
And remember, your parents love you, they've nurtured you since you were born, so naturally they only want the best for you, which is why they suggest men that may be suitable for you. I think you should give this a chance and see whether anyone they bring forth may be compatible for you in terms of deen, education, etc. Don't worry about finding love sis, trust me, love is something Allah will naturally put into your hearts as you begin to get to know one another better, but to look for love first and then make it into marriage does not ensure compatibility.
And of course if you like someone and are interested in them for marriage then don't hesitate to discuss it with your parents. They'll want to know. But try and give arranged proposals a chance inshallah, you have nothing to lose, after all in the end it's your choice.
It is possible to get to know someone without committing sin. How much info would you need to know that he is a good Muslim? That's all you need to know inshallah, Allah will take care of the rest and place undefinable love and mercy in your hearts. As you and he speak with each other you will learn of each other's ambitions and goals in life, hence you'll be able to marry with these in mind and your love and friendship will work around them.
Wassalam
Last Edited Nadia87 on 20-Feb-2006 7:30 PM
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Wajeehuddin Ahmed
13 posts
Mar 11, 2006
8:34 AM
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Dear Muslim4eternity, The aim and purpose of marriage in Islam is to procure healthy and righteous (SALEH) offspring. There is no place of romance or knowing intimately the spouse before marriage. Ofcourse, Islam permits one to have a glance of the would be spouse. Please remember command of ALLAH is supreme. Our knowledge how great and vast it may be is of no use and will prove futile in the long run. May ALLAH bless you.
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